This is not how i want to be treated..

Posts : 1357 Join date : 2011-06-15

So last week i told my dad i did not have time to come and visit him the weekend. (My parents are devorced) And he was kinda angry.. He sent me this utterly long e-mail the day after. EVERYTHING IN THAT E-MAIL WAS TWISTED. everything i said to him he twisted it so that it would look like that my mom was the bad guy.. And i did not fall for that I mean HELLO WHAT KIND OF STUPID BITCH DOES HE TAKE ME FOR?

So i wrote an e-mail back tuesday(this week) Telling him that i did not believe any word of it and explaining that i was busy.(Because he did not believe me..>.>) Than i did not get a responce.. My stepmother's Birthday is today (And i was planning to go to that..) But i did not hear anything from my dad. So i though: ''Why go? He does not tell me anything..''

BUT When i was just sitting at home with my bestie suddenly my dad stood infront of my house. I was like WTF?! So i opened the door and he said: ''Are you comming with me now?'' I was like: ''I did not hear anything from you and than you just show up out of nowhere asking me if i come with you i don't take that normal!'' So he was like: ''You know what?! You just do what ever you want?!'' So i closed the door in shock.

I am angry at him he is acting like i do everything wrong, Whenever i don't have time for him i get an freaking drama queen e-mail. And he thinks that he can just show up whenever he wants to and just take me with him to his house? I don't take that normal!

Sorry i just need to get my emotions out now... So i might be silent today just because of this.. Sorry.

Subject: Re: This is not how i want to be treated.. Fri Sep 30, 2011 6:13 am

*hugs you tightly*

Posts : 1357 Join date : 2011-06-15

Thank you <3

Subject: Re: This is not how i want to be treated.. Fri Sep 30, 2011 6:40 am

That's ridiculous.
I may not completely understand how you feel, but I can empathize.

My father and I have NEVER gotten along. My parents almost divorced when I was little, and as bad as it sounds, I wish they would have. I can't stand him, and he's cruel. I try to get along with him, I really do... But he makes no effort to be nice. So why should I? Therefore, we have a horrible relationship. My sisters don't like him either, and half the time, even my mom doesn't. He's just a jerk.

Anyway, but he's always being a butt like that. He'll tell me or any of my other family members, "We're going to Fargo this weekend." And Erika and I will tell him we work, Allison will have a birthday party, etc. And he just gets PISSED. Basically, if we don't get off work or whatever for him, he is the biggest asshole to us for like a week, until he goes back to being his slightly less jerky self. He's always done that too. And if I go too long without talking to him, I get really angry messages. And whenever he texts me, of course I don't want to reply. But if I take too long to reply, I get a message something to the fact of "Hey there Miss never talks to her fucking father, why aren't you answering my texts?" Etc.

So I know how you feel. *Gives a HUUUGE hug*

Posts : 1357 Join date : 2011-06-15

Yeah i know.. I just idk i don't want to stay in contact with him.. But i don't want to lose him either...

Subject: Re: This is not how i want to be treated.. Fri Sep 30, 2011 7:03 am

That's the problem. Our fathers need to realize if they're treating us like this, they are going to grow up with us not in their lives hardly at all, and if we are it will still be a bad relationship. They don't want to grow up to be lonely, mean old men do they? I wish they'd see that and love us while they can. If my dad doesn't shape up, I'll keep minimum contact with him. Now that I'm out of the house and in college, I hardly ever talk to him. And when I stop by my house to see my mom or sisters, or I have to get something, I try to stop by when he's not home. What I do to try to help the relationship is if I notice him do or say something actually nice or thoughtful, I 'reward' him by being nice in return. Calling to catch up, or giving him a hug when I see him, stuff like that. When he's fatherly to me, I'll make an effort to have a good relationship with him.

Admin Posts : 1856 Join date : 2011-06-15

I can't really relate, since I never had a dad. He left when I was 4 years old xD (Well, he didn't technically leave, more like, he got a restraining order and HAD to leave xD)
But on my 13th birthday my dad's side of the family (my aunt, grandmom on my father's side, etc) wanted me to come and spend the summer with them, so I did. And don't get me wrong, it was a great summer, and I had a lot of fun with my cousin and aunt but... I never really bonded with my dad. I didn't even know him, he was like a complete stranger. At least my aunt and cousin I'd seen before, but my dad...
Anywayz, right from the start he started treating me like we were best buddies and as if he'd been there all along. And then he started saying stuff about my mom lying to me about him being a bad guy and stuff. (I love my mom, plus he was in prison for smuggling drugs so I KNOW he's a bad guy o.e No point in trying to make my mom look bad.)
I got really uncomfortable after that, but when he asked for my number I gave it to him.

THIS is the part that pisses me off:
On my birthday I get like ONE text from him or something. Other than that I don't hear from him at all, or anyone else on my dad's side of the family for that sake. And then when I deleted him and my grandma on my dad's side from Facebook (which I'm never on anyway o.e) they went nuts o.e Like, telling me they were really hurt and asking me why and stuff. For fuck's sake, to me those people are complete strangers >.<
Tbh, I'm kind of glad I never had a dad... dad's just seems... annoying anyway ._.''

Subject: Re: This is not how i want to be treated.. Fri Sep 30, 2011 10:14 am

@Jasmine D: What a jerk! >.< Gosh, everywhere I turn I'm seeing deadbeat dads DX

@Aladdin D: That's just horrible! DX I'm so sorry, I'm like in shocked by everyone's dads DX That just so horrible...

@Ylva I'm sorry that you have such a jerk and a criminal for a dad. >.<

They are annoying, but I love my dad XD He's always been there and he's still married to my mom, so I know I'm blessed in that department. He's annoying because he does things just to annoy me and treats me like I'm still a kid at times :/ He didn't want my brother and I to grow up... I love him, but yeah, he can get on my nerves a lot...

Subject: Re: This is not how i want to be treated.. Fri Sep 30, 2011 9:42 pm

Except Cindy, I guess we all have trouble with our Dad xD Btw, I don't call him 'Dad', he doesn't deserve it.
I'm sorry for you Jas', but for Al' and Ylva too. It's unfair. Daddy are supposed to be people that we love the most, the Man with a big 'M' that you'll always love.
It's unfair. I'm sorry.

Subject: Re: This is not how i want to be treated.. Sat Oct 01, 2011 3:23 am

Oh well... I guess it's his loss for missing out on 19 years of a relationship with me. And all of my sisters as well. What is he going to do when we don't depend on him anymore? He signs my loan papers for school. After I'm done with school, who knows how often I'll talk to him.