I am turning into Meg O.o

I have been through a lot lately....I feel like I am turning into Meg in rl well...I can compare to her on here if that is weird....


my story ....as you all know I have had guy issues, my fiance moving to cali and us fighting cause he was abusive and mean and punched walls and screamed at me the whole trip story then him saying he did not love me me coming home after that..... :-( remember I told you I was seeing someone and everything was fine but he could never see me ever and i thought it was cause he had to work so i was being patient with him....but there was another guy who was only my friend but i kind of liked him the one who stole my ps3?? Well I will tell you all what has happened since then....

The guy who i was seeing who barely saw me....i thought it was cause of work I tried to work things out with him i texted him and everything and well things seemed fine...he said I love you baby I will be there for you...Your my gf...I care about you..... Same day....my friends tried calling me like 100 times while I was working.... My friend Michael finally reached me and said...Look....I have something to tell you .... I was like what....?? He said I wen't over to his house....to hang out and I saw him holding a girl walking down the street with her and I thought it was you so i shouted out the window but it was not you .... I was so mad he cheated on you i stormed off..... I am sorry he is not worth your time..... I freaking hung up and cried my eyes out screaming....' Im not good enough!!! no one cares!!! I am ugly!! Guys are jerks!!!!" and my friends were worried michael and his sister so they came over to see me...made me come over i cried and cried and cried....." Well during this time I was trying to get my ps3 back so finally the guy met me yesterday I thought he would be a jerk...and all...im getting ahead of myself .... his story is while me and scott (cheater) were kind of dating not really I was seeing this guy bobby (ps3 guy) I met him online...I know...I know....and well..things happened and we seemed fine.....but one day he said it was not him when i texted him and made up some crazy story cause you see i payed for his cell bill...i knew he was lying then finally he said we cant be together your to clingy....i was like wow....well can i have my ps3 back....finally he met me and gave it to me yesterday i thought he would be mean ....i was crying when he came ...did not wan't to see him felt like every guy i fall for hurts me....he said whats wrong...i turned away....."nothing...you hate me" he said if i hated you i would not of come...." I was pulling away from him just wanted to give him his necklace back and him give me my ps3.... he gave it to me we sat in car a few moments talking.... he said....im sorry about everything i have been through alot to....if you wanna take it one day at a time we can.... i nodded and cried some more cause i found out yeah my bf cheated on me like a few days before bobby came .... and reason i hesitated with him is cause of guy who cheated on me.... but ....i feel like meg cause i have done things with both guys.......when i fall for someone i fall hard i let my emotions get the best of me then guy never talks to me...again....anyways i got my ps3 back..... i been going on lots of dates.... bobby was one online .... but the past week there has been several .... david one night,....james at the movies...., and the guy who always comes into my work....,and another guy who came over I did not sleep with every one of them....but pretty close..... I am not a bad person.... I want to find love sooo bad that it is killing me.... I wan't to find the one....and i keep getting abused or hurt or cheated on..... i feel like meg cause I feel worthless....guys only wan't me for my body...not for me.....and i can never tell who really loves me and who doesn't....cause honestly my bf i thought he loved me ...would never hurt me....then he cheated..... the ps3 guy after talking we are friends in a way.....which is good i guess.... I have not been on lately cause i feel i could not face you guys.....is that wierd??? yeah i am sorry but i will be on tomorrow an some of today cause i get off work at 3 am today

Oh, Wendy *hugs* I honestly think you should just take a break from dating for awhile, clear your head and find who you are. You want love so bad, but you're looking in all the wrong places. Love isn't something that can be found as easily as like a kitten or a tv in a store. It takes time and rushing out with every guy that gives you a second look isn't helping you in any way.

I understand how you are feeling, I went with my ex because he gave me attention and I really just wanted a boyfriend. I feel that it was a mistake going out with him in the first place, seeing as his true colors appeared after we broke up. (yeah, after -_- his true colors really showed up when I started spending time with Tommy (before Tommy and I actually started dating).)

Before I started dating Tommy, I had decided to be single for awhile, I would have to if it wasn't for the fact that Tommy was there for me and he was the only reason I was happy XD

Look, my point is, take a break. Clear your head and figure out what you want to do with your life. Focus on work. I know you want to find true love, but the thing about love is, it happens unexpectedly, it can't happen just because you wish it.

When you are meant to know who the one is, God will reveal him to you. But if you keep going out with guy after guy after guy, you may never find him.

Love is not something you can have at your will, only God knows when the time is right.

Don't settle for a guy just because you think you can't do better. You'll know when you can't do better and, Wendy? You can do better.

I'm with Mamma Cindy on this one, yes I know you want to find love, but what you're getting is the lust bit. If you can't do three months with no sex, try a week and go from there. I don't want to crack down on you or anything, its just love won't magically come to you. You have to be patient date, don't rush things if you like a guy be with that guy. Have guy friends but not boyfriends, and no I'm not talking about having a guy who you have sex with. Do your best not to be put in a situation where you feel like you have to give the guy what he wants. If he truly likes you, he'll understand that you need space and if he just wants to get it on after the first or second date well that should tell you that he's only interested in one thing. I hope it works out for you though!

This is heartbreaking really. I think you should just take a break from everything. I understand your feelings.
Wanting love. It is hard to find some one who you can really trust.
But just like Cindy said. No dating just enjoy your life as far as it can.
You don't Need A boyfriend to make you feel happy. Sometimes you might think that way.
You think you are ugly not good enough. But you aren't!

I have the same problem with guys. They want only the body not the brains... And once the brains resist it doesn't work out..
I know how it is. I am not gonna tell an whole story about myself because this is about you.
This might sound strange but stop thinking about FINDING THE ONE. because when you are going to try too hard
you'll fall hard. Take a break. Find a way to express your feelings. Make a vent just do what ever makes you feel better
Try and think of positive things. Might sound a bit cliché but you should really try and be positive.
You are not ugly! and you deserve much better than be treated like this.

thank you all means a lot ill try to take my time and see what happens thank you all for the advice <3